Let them know you can no longer keep your promise to them. Anything short of that is cheating. End of story. In my situation, I know cheating hurt the betrayed girlfriend. A lot. It also hurt me, since I felt lied to at first In the beginning, I thought I was going out with a single guy , and then, I felt used. He lost me, he lost a girlfriend who adored him, and he lost the respect of a lot of our mutual friends who knew what was going on.
Cheating, as established above, is lying. Nothing good can come of it. Blurred lines are mostly excuses.
They have a self esteem problem, and they're seeking validation.
When it comes to cheating, we like to think that there are blurred lines, extenuating circumstances, mitigating factors. Those are called excuses, and most of them are lame.
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The truth, however, is that I was. I was making it easy for him to cheat on her, to hurt her. I was an accomplice at causing her pain. I rationalized so much of what was going on, only to keep myself in the clear.
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I rationalized that he was the liar and the cheater, so he was the problem, not I. I rationalized that if she was hurting so much, she should leave him. If she chose not to, it was her problem, not mine. In the end, it was all morality gymnastics. It took me a while to realize I should drop the morality gymnastics and see the wrong for what it was. I should just stop picking up the phone. Just refuse to play my part in that ridiculous drama. When I finally did, it was liberating. Part of the reason why I was the other woman for so long is because I had very low self-esteem. I knew I wanted someone to commit to me, someone who was invested in a relationship with me and made me a priority, not someone I had to share with another woman.
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Polyamory is so not my thing. Yet, I shared. It felt good to have his attention. In a twisted way, it makes you feel as if he likes you more than her. You matter more. The spell began to break for me when I realized that, if he liked me so much, he should get on with it and break up with her already. If I was as special as he insisted I was, he would have done it. I also realized that, if he lied to her, he would lie to me too.
Even if he did break up with her for me, he would only move on from cheating on her to cheating on me. That was when I realized I should go after what I wanted.
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And people can be cruel through ignorance. Cheating hurts and there is no other pain like being cheated on by someone you put your trust and all into, only to have them literally rip your heat from your chest. A cheater can be in the wrong place at the right time and if the opportunity presents itself it will happen. My dad cheated on my mom, then beat up his mistress and got arrested.
When he left my sister said it was my fault. She was right, but it was her fault, too. My mom got fat having having us. We were noisy and left our toys all over the house. He thought he could do better than us. Janice was well dressed, career driven. She was more glamorous than us. We slowed him down. It was our fault. Having children is not a death sentence and people add all these rules of why they can look good after children which is crap.
Nobody cares about any reasons. You destroy other human beings. I showed him lots of love and attention and this was going to happen no matter what.
What all men do when they're cheating
He needs help. He needs to address some shit in his past or this is how he will live his whole life… and life alone is really, really long. There is no excuse for cheating. And yes, once a cheater, always a cheater. Anna,shut your trap, its not the same for everybody, I just cheated and lost my girlfriend I was with for two years and i can tell you that experience kg losing her ,will always be in the back ofmy mimed now and I will never ever cheat again.
Anna, yes, we all make mistakes, when we are making them we dont understand the extent of our actions. Once we do, we reivindicate and become agents of change. When i was a teenager and that was the only time i did, i cheated on my boyfriend. At the time i was confused and wanted to change things up and had urges, i didnt know what to do with them and acted upon. Once i realized it was unfair, i told my guy at the time. I just think if i found my gf doing what I just did I would be so hurt. You are a fucking idiot. This is not true….
People like to put things in boxes. The fact is, people are both good and bad. You know this to be true… So why do you remove yourself from the equation?
I am sorry to know what had happened to you. I am sorry to know what had happened to. I never got an apology,empathy there was no regret or remorse.. As difficult as it was for me, I recently broke ties with a girl I really loved who was cheating on me. What you have to come to realize, is that discovering who these people really are in character is a good thing.
She has made me feel worthless cause Im unable to provide financially to give a partner the things they crave to keep them interested. I have never cheated on anyone before, and I am always very loyal in all my relationships. My boyfriend just broke up with me last night, but wants to remain friends. I believe he has been cheating on me with a married woman. I was cheated on this New Years. I found out February 25th.
He told me he did it because I had overdosed on adderall a few days before. I feel I deserved it. I hurt him by almost killing myself, so he hurt me by having sex with someone else. The man I love is a habitual cheater.
He is currently doing addiction therapy. He had over a dozen affairs in his marriage and we were engaged but he left me 4 months pregnant. A couple months later he was living with a new woman and has now been with her at least a year, a bit more. I believe he stays with her because she gives him a free home and financial stability. Meanwhile our daughter is 10, nearly 11 months old.
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But I understand not being able to stop loving someone.
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